Paper
The Role of Dependence in Couple Relationships
Published Aug 5, 2008 · R. Bischoff
Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy
3
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Abstract
The pursuit of independence normally characterizes the dominant cultures of most of North America, Western Europe, and Australia. People from these dominant cultures are often seen as valuing independent thought, independent behavior, and self-reliance. With its grounding in Western thought, the various forms of psychotherapy, including couple therapy, traditionally generally embrace and encourage the pursuit of independence. Independence is usually seen as a sign of health, whereas dependence is often seen as a sign of pathology. Yet, a growing body of research findings suggests that there is a place for dependence in couple relationships. The need to depend on someone else is a primary motivation for seeking a long-term intimate relationship. People long for someone on whom they can depend. They long to be able to depend on the relationship with that person. They long to be depended on. And, dependence on one another is an outgrowth of a healthy relationship. Of course, too much dependence can be unhealthy and pathological. But, a lack of dependence can be equally unhealthy and pathological.
Dependence in couple relationships can be healthy and beneficial, as it is a primary motivation for seeking long-term intimate relationships and can be both healthy and pathological when excessive or lacking.
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